With the hubby in school full time and working nights it really limits our time for social engagements. Hosting them ourselves? Well, it's a miracle if the house is in decent enough shape to invite over family, let alone friends! It's a crazy busy, isolating, time of change in our lives right now. This month I just couldn't take it anymore and decided we would be hosting a party, and I would be busting out the big guns.
So last night was the first real party we've hosted in many, many months.Though attendance was poor, the company we did have was excellent, the ambiance was stellar, and the food turned out quite great. We had fun seeing friends whom we haven't seen lately, talking about population declines, vegetarianism, crazy families, recent wedding, new babies, law schools, future plans, bucket lists, and many more fascinating things.
One thing that came up several times during the course of the evening was the idea that I should start a blog. Apparently my faux chandelier made from an umbrella, homemade mozzarella, and incredibly clever "eyeballs" are noteworthy enough for fame in the blogo-sphere.
I've tried to blog before, and found it hard. I just feel like I have very little to contribute in any one area. I tried a vegetarian blog... it lasted about three months (though it was pretty kick butt at the time!). I tried a design blog... umm... well... it never even got a single post up. I have a personal blog, but mostly use it to let off steam, and therefore it has very little content and what it does makes me sound like a crazy person. I tried a Disney blog, at the encouragement of a potential craft blogging offer from another blog. It got through the design phase, and looked stellar, but life craziness happened, and I didn't feel like I was in the right place to be blogging, and I let the opportunity pass me by. I blogged for a photographer for a while. I started a pre-school idea blog. I started a flylady inspired blog. None of them succeed in doing anything but making me feel like I needed to have content, and I needed it NOW! Stress and the pressure I put on myself to make it perfect turned every single one of them into a failure.
So... why you ask, am I attempting this again?
Well, frankly, I am bored, I am lonely at home 16 hours a day with two young boys, and I need an outlet for more then just letting off steam. I am a creative person, and I have pulled off some wonderful things, designed some awesome art, cooked some wonderful food, learned awesome things, and I feel like a blog might give me a chance to show the world that, and get a little validation for myself.
It's hard to feel like I am worthy of having a blog. There are so many people out there with fantastic everything that I feel like I am no comparison, that I have nothing to add to the conversation. I put myself down, and tell myself I am not good enough to do it, not talented enough, not good enough of a photographer for it, not interesting enough. Just not ENOUGH. I hold myself back from doing it, because I fear being not enough. Why start if i am going to fail again? Why put effort into anything? It's a negative diatribe in myself that I need to overcome, and starting this blog is the first step.
So thank you to my gorgeous, amazingly talented, red-headed photographer friend for giving me the confidence to start this today. I don't guarantee it won't fail like my other blogs, or that it will be anything interesting, but it is a step forward. It's one small step for the blogging world, but it's a giant leap for me, a leap towards valuing myself instead of putting myself down. A leap over my biggest road block, myself.
So here it is, my first post. My first baby-step.
Now to come up with some content. I am not going to limit myself to one type of content this time around, hopefully that will help me have more content and continue to be motivated to post! So look for a lot of the topics from my failed blogs to pop up on here!
Anyone have something I've done they'd like to see featured on here? A past party? A recipe I've made? A Craft? Give me something! I'll see what I can do.